The Lonely Hunter

“I wait, wanting her to draw me, to draw us, back to the safety of our other life, the life in which a father and mother hold ground” (Hall 7).

Once Meredith’s mother met Peter, she became more liberal and seemingly the complete opposite of how she had raised Meredith. Meredith is about sixteen years old and meeting Anthony for the first time on the beach as well as stepping out of her comfort zone and buying the bikini. When she got into the car with her mother, she expected for her mother to comment on the fact that she was showing too much skin but she never did. A change occurred in her mother from being the common conservative of the 1950s to more liberal and understanding of the younger generation, going from wearing the skirts she made to slacks and turtlenecks. Her mom had changed into a different person entirely and with her mother’s sudden change, she feels as though her entire life has changed as well. Meredith begins rebelling as well as she gets older; she starts wanting the stares from strangers as she walks on the beach, coming home later than her unenforced curfew and sneaking around with Anthony. Her mother stops noticing her daughter. Meredith started off her summer reading all alone on the beach and ended the summer pregnant from a man who didn’t want anything to do with her after the summer.

Without a Map

“Shunning is supposed to keep bad things from happening in a community.  But it doesn’t correct the life gone wrong.  It can only expose the transgression to a very raw light, use it as a measure, a warn to others…” (xi-xii).

By Hall’s town rejecting her, they wanted to deny that they were ever connected to a girl who would disrespect herself and her family so blatantly.  Within the town, where everyone knew everyone, Hall was kicked out of school and told that she would not come back. In gym class, Hall told her friends that she was pregnant and they stepped back, repulsed from her, without even trying to make an effort of consoling her or telling her that they would help her through the situation. She was then hidden away, not allowed to go out or attend church, until she went to live with her father, where she was still confined to within his home. When they were away and it snowed, she thought they would appreciate her shoveling the driveway, yet upon their return, they got mad at her. When people visited, she couldn't come downstairs, make a noise or go to the bathroom because the guests may hear her. When she went back home for a birthday dinner her mom invited her over for, she had to duck down in the car so people wouldn't see that she was back.
The parents of Hall’s classmates feared that any of their children could have veered off into the same direction she did. They had all grown up the same, together with the majority of their experiences pretty similar. They couldn't differ greatly because of this, so the parents had a constant fear of their own children rebelling against what they were taught and how they had been raised. By shunning her and rejecting her from the entire society, people made sure that they would never end up like her. She was always held to a high standard because she had done so well in school, but once the mistake was made, she would always be known as the lowlife who got pregnant. Her entire past was ripped away from her, neighbors knew that the family was respectable and were what they considered to be good people. Even Hall believed that she was lesser because she was tricked into trusting a boy that she hadn't known would not stick around for her.

Sister Victor

“Back in Syracuse I worked with Mother for nine years, in St. Joseph’s Hospital. I spoon-fed children weak with scarlet fever and typhus, and never thought twice about it. I assisted doctors in surgeries, amputations, and never had so much as an upset stomach. Mother once told me I was the best nursing sister in the hospital” (Brennert 94).

     Sister Victor had been a nurse in Syracuse prior to coming to Molokai to help dying leprosy patients. Before she came to Hawaii she was working in a hospital with many young children with diseases that were fatal just like leprosy, however she never hesitated in helping to nurse the children sick with scarlet fever or typhus as she did with lepers even though they were just children too. She saw blood and gore in that hospital but it never affected her as seeing those with leprosy did. The difference was that not much was known about leprosy, people treating lepers didn't know how it was transmitted from person to person, how easily, any causes or how to cure it. Leprosy was still a mystery to the caretakers, the nuns in the convent. No one wanted to contract the disease deliberately but they were aware it was possible when they went to the area to help. Sister Victor was afraid of contracting it when Bertha nearly drowned and Sister Catherine didn't know how to help her. Sister Victor hesitated to touch Bertha’s sores to be able perform CPR to force water from Bertha’s lungs but still did it in order to save a young girl who she knew was going to die either way. The way the Sisters took care of the young girls without immediate family in the convent was similar to that of a nurse for a hospice patient. They all knew that the children didn't have a high chance of surviving but continued to care for them until the end. Although Sister Victor was depressed at times because of the hopelessness and bleakness that surrounded her, but she did not give up on any of the young girls because she had felt responsible for them.

Joy Luck Club OP

In Joy Luck Club, traditional Chinese culture plays a major role in both the mothers' and daughters' lives. Women were expected to be be similar to the traditional ideas of the American woman. Obedience, demureness and inferiority were expected the women in most cases, whether it was intentional or not. Filial piety was a common theme in many of the families, but mostly the daughters of the women in the Joy Luck Club were directly affected by their mothers' self respect. There was inevitably a generation gap among the mothers and daughters because the mothers were raised in China, with very different ideals than their American raised daughters. However some of the mothers took a greater risk at gaining their independence from their family.

For example, An-Mei became the concubine to a rich man with multiple wives and concubines; she was disowned by her family due to leaving a scholar for a man who kept concubines, but this was not something that would commonly happen in America whereas it was in China. Prior to them getting married, she was raped by her future husband and got pregnant. She tried to tell her family that she had been rated but they did not believe her and instead got the impression that she was sleeping around. Her mother was ashamed of her and disowned her so she had to submit to being the baby's father's wife because she had no other options. Second Wife would later take An-Mei's son as her own to gain a higher status within the household. Although the understanding of rape was not much better here in the early twentieth century, polygamy and concubines were not prevalent. When An-Mei's mother was on her deathbed later in the movie, she cut the flesh from her own arm to put into a soup to prove her loyalty, love and respect for her mother although she had been thrown out on the street by them.

When Lindo married her husband very young, he and the rest of the family bullied her. The only purpose Lindo had for her new family was to provide sons, she also became a servant and had to remain respectful and dutiful to her in-laws. Her mother-in-law constantly nagged Lindo to give her grandchildren but her son refused to have sex with Lindo so obviously that was impossible but Lindo took all the blame for not getting pregnant. She made up a lie that she had a dream that her ancestors spoke to her and said that she needed to get out of the marriage because her husband would die if they did not separate, also she said that the servant was carrying her child. This was the only way she could have gotten away from her husband and the family that bullied her and her plot ended up working in her favor.

Finally at the dinner that June's mother hosted where she had Waverly's family over and she made the crab, she discovered her daughter's genuinely kind character. As they see served crab, Waverly grabbed the best crab, as did the rest of her family. June on the other hand chose the worst to let her mother have a better one. After dinner, her mother notices this. June is willing to sacrifice for others whereas Waverly selfishly picks the better one. Choosing the "better" option is human nature but at the same time, the quality to give others what you want is strong and more profound, her mother sees this and not as a weakness.

Although the women were expected to be demure and considered less than the men, they were able to show their strength and their mothers all taught them through the lessons they had learned from their pasts.

Forgive and Forget

It is not forgive and forget.
It's not bowing down.
You understand, you move on.
You are liberated;
You learned, you matured.

Dorothea Dix

      Dorothea Dix went to Abraham Lincoln in the hopes of convincing him to appoint female nurses in the army but Dix was aware of how she would have to approach the matter. She states, “Demureness was a helpful weapon, she had discovered and it was a practice she nearly perfected” (Oliveira 78). She tries to lead him to believe that she is shy and inferior to him because she finds that is the best way to get what she wants. As President Lincoln’s stature is so large in comparison to hers because she was barely as tall as his chest.
     As he tells her it is an honor to meet her because he has heard so many good things about her work, she only says thank you. She says she has learned to about “retracing old victories when her interest lay on accomplishing new ones”. Instead of being overly proud of of her past success she accepts the compliment as opposed to gloating about her past.
     Lincoln tells Miss Dix there are plenty of surgeons for the war effort and though she knows that is not the case, she does not argue and tell him that she knows this is false but allows him to talk. He continues to say, “...[my generals] are concerned that women in the hospitals will be - distracting” (79). This was yet another slap in the face to her, just for being a woman people doubted her ability or usefulness.
     People had called women “indelicate, hysterical, meddlesome, obstructive, uncooperative, immodest, indecent, and the worst, superfluous”. She was constantly being held back by her gender, something she could not be blamed for. She was never taken seriously because she was a woman. If a man had equal ability, he would have gotten more recognition and respect from superiors. Although Lincoln could tell her how many positive things he had heard about her as much as he wanted or how honored he was to meet her, it would never be equal to the honor he would have meeting a male with her capabilities.
     She remained respectful of him when he said her reputation would be ruined if she tried to pursue allowing women to help in the army’s hospitals and she counters that her reputation will only be compromised if she doesn't make the effort to change the stigma surrounding being a woman. People were unable to trust women and men in the same quarters as there was an opportunity for indecencies to take place. She had to agree that women who she would recruit would be plain looking, where darker colors and be over thirty years old. 
     Miss Dix became more resolute and shared that the generals were not correct that there were sufficient surgeons and with the promise that the nurses would not be “distracting”, Lincoln granted her permission to recruit female nurses for the army. If Mary had been in Dorothea Dix’s place, she would have resolutely proven her case, her strength and her skill without trying to feign demureness especially given her coarse physical appearance.

Freshman Suffocation

     In school, especially in classes with people you don't know very well, I know I start to feel shy and introverted. I don't express my opinions whereas with people I know well, I can easily share what I believe in. I can be a brutally honest, blunt person. I am passionate in what I believe in as well.
     I think during freshman year, I started to get too shy to even talk in any of my classes. I'd shut myself out or just not know what to say. Suddenly, in my own mind at least, I thought I'd get ripped apart by everyone if I said one bad thing. I was incredibly critical of myself. I stopped having opinions, conveying my emotions and only had a small friend group who I was very close with. 

     I don't know why this started, looking back I had had not experience that stood out that would force me to shut myself out. I realize now that there was no reason for me to become so timid. It became almost an anxiety to speak in public or in class. No one was overly critical of me, I had never been told that I was an idiot for believing something or that I was awful human being, but that what I thought would happen if I did. None of my opinions, I would guess, would ever warrant that. 

     Even the way I dressed became for other people, not myself. I dressed up every day and never wore leggings or sweatpants, jeans were even rare. Maybe I wore leggings a total of four times throughout the year, when I did, it was a really bad day. So now I was afraid of people judging my looks. 

     Admittedly, I looked pretty nice daily but I woke up an hour and a half before school started to do my hair and makeup. All this did was stress me out even more. Straightening or curling my hair every single day and perfecting my makeup was not an enjoyable way to spend my mornings. My mom said I was so nit picky because I'm a Virgo. I know I was because I was going crazy trying to please others. 

     Did people actually care how I looked? Would people actually hate me if I went to school in a sweatshirt? Or if I repeated an outfit? Would that really be such a travesty? 

     Now, I see the ridiculousness of it all. I'm less critical of myself and able to stand up for myself without having the fear of what people would think of me. It may have taken a few years to come full circle but I realize now that my opinions are educated, also people can disagree with me. That's life. No fair person is going to rip me apart for not agreeing with them. Let's face it, my wardrobe is not a defining characteristic of mine. My sweatpants or sweatshirt aren't going to set anyone off if I choose to wear them. If they do, then that's too bad. I have the right to make my own choices and say what I want to.