Joy Luck Club OP

In Joy Luck Club, traditional Chinese culture plays a major role in both the mothers' and daughters' lives. Women were expected to be be similar to the traditional ideas of the American woman. Obedience, demureness and inferiority were expected the women in most cases, whether it was intentional or not. Filial piety was a common theme in many of the families, but mostly the daughters of the women in the Joy Luck Club were directly affected by their mothers' self respect. There was inevitably a generation gap among the mothers and daughters because the mothers were raised in China, with very different ideals than their American raised daughters. However some of the mothers took a greater risk at gaining their independence from their family.

For example, An-Mei became the concubine to a rich man with multiple wives and concubines; she was disowned by her family due to leaving a scholar for a man who kept concubines, but this was not something that would commonly happen in America whereas it was in China. Prior to them getting married, she was raped by her future husband and got pregnant. She tried to tell her family that she had been rated but they did not believe her and instead got the impression that she was sleeping around. Her mother was ashamed of her and disowned her so she had to submit to being the baby's father's wife because she had no other options. Second Wife would later take An-Mei's son as her own to gain a higher status within the household. Although the understanding of rape was not much better here in the early twentieth century, polygamy and concubines were not prevalent. When An-Mei's mother was on her deathbed later in the movie, she cut the flesh from her own arm to put into a soup to prove her loyalty, love and respect for her mother although she had been thrown out on the street by them.

When Lindo married her husband very young, he and the rest of the family bullied her. The only purpose Lindo had for her new family was to provide sons, she also became a servant and had to remain respectful and dutiful to her in-laws. Her mother-in-law constantly nagged Lindo to give her grandchildren but her son refused to have sex with Lindo so obviously that was impossible but Lindo took all the blame for not getting pregnant. She made up a lie that she had a dream that her ancestors spoke to her and said that she needed to get out of the marriage because her husband would die if they did not separate, also she said that the servant was carrying her child. This was the only way she could have gotten away from her husband and the family that bullied her and her plot ended up working in her favor.

Finally at the dinner that June's mother hosted where she had Waverly's family over and she made the crab, she discovered her daughter's genuinely kind character. As they see served crab, Waverly grabbed the best crab, as did the rest of her family. June on the other hand chose the worst to let her mother have a better one. After dinner, her mother notices this. June is willing to sacrifice for others whereas Waverly selfishly picks the better one. Choosing the "better" option is human nature but at the same time, the quality to give others what you want is strong and more profound, her mother sees this and not as a weakness.

Although the women were expected to be demure and considered less than the men, they were able to show their strength and their mothers all taught them through the lessons they had learned from their pasts.

Forgive and Forget

It is not forgive and forget.
It's not bowing down.
You understand, you move on.
You are liberated;
You learned, you matured.

Dorothea Dix

      Dorothea Dix went to Abraham Lincoln in the hopes of convincing him to appoint female nurses in the army but Dix was aware of how she would have to approach the matter. She states, “Demureness was a helpful weapon, she had discovered and it was a practice she nearly perfected” (Oliveira 78). She tries to lead him to believe that she is shy and inferior to him because she finds that is the best way to get what she wants. As President Lincoln’s stature is so large in comparison to hers because she was barely as tall as his chest.
     As he tells her it is an honor to meet her because he has heard so many good things about her work, she only says thank you. She says she has learned to about “retracing old victories when her interest lay on accomplishing new ones”. Instead of being overly proud of of her past success she accepts the compliment as opposed to gloating about her past.
     Lincoln tells Miss Dix there are plenty of surgeons for the war effort and though she knows that is not the case, she does not argue and tell him that she knows this is false but allows him to talk. He continues to say, “...[my generals] are concerned that women in the hospitals will be - distracting” (79). This was yet another slap in the face to her, just for being a woman people doubted her ability or usefulness.
     People had called women “indelicate, hysterical, meddlesome, obstructive, uncooperative, immodest, indecent, and the worst, superfluous”. She was constantly being held back by her gender, something she could not be blamed for. She was never taken seriously because she was a woman. If a man had equal ability, he would have gotten more recognition and respect from superiors. Although Lincoln could tell her how many positive things he had heard about her as much as he wanted or how honored he was to meet her, it would never be equal to the honor he would have meeting a male with her capabilities.
     She remained respectful of him when he said her reputation would be ruined if she tried to pursue allowing women to help in the army’s hospitals and she counters that her reputation will only be compromised if she doesn't make the effort to change the stigma surrounding being a woman. People were unable to trust women and men in the same quarters as there was an opportunity for indecencies to take place. She had to agree that women who she would recruit would be plain looking, where darker colors and be over thirty years old. 
     Miss Dix became more resolute and shared that the generals were not correct that there were sufficient surgeons and with the promise that the nurses would not be “distracting”, Lincoln granted her permission to recruit female nurses for the army. If Mary had been in Dorothea Dix’s place, she would have resolutely proven her case, her strength and her skill without trying to feign demureness especially given her coarse physical appearance.

Freshman Suffocation

     In school, especially in classes with people you don't know very well, I know I start to feel shy and introverted. I don't express my opinions whereas with people I know well, I can easily share what I believe in. I can be a brutally honest, blunt person. I am passionate in what I believe in as well.
     I think during freshman year, I started to get too shy to even talk in any of my classes. I'd shut myself out or just not know what to say. Suddenly, in my own mind at least, I thought I'd get ripped apart by everyone if I said one bad thing. I was incredibly critical of myself. I stopped having opinions, conveying my emotions and only had a small friend group who I was very close with. 

     I don't know why this started, looking back I had had not experience that stood out that would force me to shut myself out. I realize now that there was no reason for me to become so timid. It became almost an anxiety to speak in public or in class. No one was overly critical of me, I had never been told that I was an idiot for believing something or that I was awful human being, but that what I thought would happen if I did. None of my opinions, I would guess, would ever warrant that. 

     Even the way I dressed became for other people, not myself. I dressed up every day and never wore leggings or sweatpants, jeans were even rare. Maybe I wore leggings a total of four times throughout the year, when I did, it was a really bad day. So now I was afraid of people judging my looks. 

     Admittedly, I looked pretty nice daily but I woke up an hour and a half before school started to do my hair and makeup. All this did was stress me out even more. Straightening or curling my hair every single day and perfecting my makeup was not an enjoyable way to spend my mornings. My mom said I was so nit picky because I'm a Virgo. I know I was because I was going crazy trying to please others. 

     Did people actually care how I looked? Would people actually hate me if I went to school in a sweatshirt? Or if I repeated an outfit? Would that really be such a travesty? 

     Now, I see the ridiculousness of it all. I'm less critical of myself and able to stand up for myself without having the fear of what people would think of me. It may have taken a few years to come full circle but I realize now that my opinions are educated, also people can disagree with me. That's life. No fair person is going to rip me apart for not agreeing with them. Let's face it, my wardrobe is not a defining characteristic of mine. My sweatpants or sweatshirt aren't going to set anyone off if I choose to wear them. If they do, then that's too bad. I have the right to make my own choices and say what I want to. 

The Senior Slide Takes Hold

    Sitting in my bedroom, wearing my oversized flannel with leggings and intense hiking socks (I don't even hike) I am faced with one of the most monumental decisions yet. Headphones in, iPad sitting in my lap on the lock screen, chamomile tea in my favorite mug, a Game of Thrones mug I sketchily bought on Amazon, my inner battle continues. A cool fall breeze is entering my room through my open window I'm too lazy to shut. As nothing is playing on the iPad I can hear my brother typing away on his laptop finishing a lab that's due tomorrow. I look to my right and see my assignment notebook open, "Common app; English outline; Spanish outline; Math bookwork; Science test Wednesday". I also catch a glimpse of my count of school days next to the date. We are on day 34, about two months in. I'm out in May, graduating in June and by this time next year I'll be in college. Finally. I'm out of Woburn, I will have made it. I look around my room, my laptop's too far away, common app is ruled out along with Spanish. My math book's nowhere to be seen and my Anatomy test is three days away, I'd hate to start studying too early.
     My attention returns to the lovely iPad in my lap: full of battery, full of promise and full of apps. Netflix included. This is my vice. In that third row, second column. Nearly any show I will ever need is one click away. Mad Men, Marco Polo, The Fall, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Sense 8. Any of them. All of them. The hours of homework I know I have are now suddenly inconsequential. Has the dreaded "senior slide" already taking me? Does such a cliche truly have its grasp on me? I used to love school yet here I am now navigating my way through Netflix. I know it better than the back of my own hand. As the intro plays, my assignment notebook is closed and returned to my backpack and my guilt has diminished.

How Education Shaped Jane

      Jane says, "My duty will be to develop these germs: surely I shall find some happiness in discharging that office" (Brontë 401). She began teaching at the school where not much was expected of the children but saw it as an opportunity to pass on education. They weren't going to be easy to teach, some weren't brought up to value education, but regardless she calls them her scholars and devotes her efforts to teaching them to value their schooling. Education shaped Jane's morals and decisions. Since Lowood she has loved and gained immense appreciation for education. Her schooling had opened many possibilities for her such as escaping the Reed's home when she was very young to go to Lowood, becoming a governess and later a schoolteacher while living with the Rivers family. The apple represents how education played such an important role in Jane's background. She gained self-respect as well through schooling, she was very independent and free like a bird for this reason. However, Jane's mind was like a hurricane when she made important decisions such as choosing to leave and then return to Rochester. Inside she's unpredictable and insane but rarely allows this to show in her countenance. Brontë alludes to fire and ice many times throughout the novel for emotions and Jane and Rochester's love as it symbolizes the passion versus acknowledging the voice of reason. Like the rose bush in front of the prison in The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne represented Hester Prynne's resilience, the rose represents Jane's resilience. She left the man she loved after learning he was already married, choosing what was best for herself, made a new life but ultimately ended up marrying Rochester. 

Letter to Jane

Dear Jane,

Leaving Mr. Rochester must have been one of the most difficult decisions you've made yet. For that, I am so proud of you for sticking to your principles. Even after he told you how hard his life has been married to Bertha, how much he loved you and how happy he has been with you, you left. He said everything that he possibly could have to make you change your mind and stay, but as you have been all your life, you're too stubborn to be dissuaded by anyone. You easily could have gone with him far from Thornfield and pretended you had no problems, but your relationship with Mr. Rochester had already been tainted. You never would have forgotten about her even if the misery she caused Mr. Rochester were to disappear completely. He was deceived by her entire family; he was young when they got married and he expected a happy marriage and life with his wife but soon learned that that would never happen. I know that he nearly tricked you into marriage as well but it was not the same reason. His intentions were never to hurt you, he adored you and didn't want to lose you so he thought keeping Bertha a secret would salvage your relationship. He had already been fooled into believing Adèle's mother loved him and that he and Bertha would love each other. I don't think he ever thought of it as duping you and I doubt he ever laughed at your callowness or stupidity. But I also don't think I would ever be able to leave him as you did if it were me in your position and I think you were right to do so. To know when to put yourself and your needs in front of those of who you love is one of the hardest things to do. In a show I watch, Game of Thrones, Cersei Lannister, a very strong woman who is also cunning and evil enough to kill off her husband, tells her daughter in law, "The more people you love, the weaker you are. You’ll do things for them that you know you shouldn’t do. You’ll act the fool to make them happy, to keep them safe. Love no one but your children." Cersei worships the ground her children walk on because she refuses to love anyone else so she is absolutely devoted to them. Love can make you forget your own importance sometimes, it makes you unimportant because suddenly you're willing to do absolutely anything for whoever you love. You didn't allow this, you didn't left love become a weakness and you held true to your principles. Although you had no one to admonish you, you had expectations for yourself; you respect yourself and no one can tell you that is wrong. I promise you, you committed no fault in leaving Mr. Rochester and you should pride yourself for your strength.

Sincerely,

Brandice

Maturity conquers malice in Jane Eyre

     Throughout Jane Eyre, the reader sees Jane mature from an rambunctious eight year old to a sophisticated eighteen year old. When Jane was young, living at Gateshead with her aunt, Mrs. Reed, and her cousins, she was seen as less than even a servant. She fought with John Reed when he brutally abused her and was punished by Mrs. Reed because she refused to believe her children could do anything wrong. Mrs. Reed's husband, Jane's uncle, promised to take care of Jane when her father died and when he passed away, Jane became his wife's responsibility. Jane was supposed to be treated as one of Mrs. Reed's own children though she was treated as a member of a lower class and always threatened with being sent to a poor-house if she continued to misbehave. Jane admits, "I dared commit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty and tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to night" (Brontë 22). However, Jane didn't hate Mrs. Reed for her childhood being miserable because she believed the Mrs. Reed didn't realize how much she despised Jane; she couldn't love Jane the same way she loved John, Eliza and Georgiana. Jane even took some responsibility for that because she knew she didn't love them either, so how could they love her? Jane tried her best to please them but never could and whenever there was a dispute between her and her cousins, she was blamed yet Georgiana could practically get away with murder because she was so beautiful and Jane was an outcast. Reed and the servants would be up in arms with anything Jane did wrong but continued to fawn over Georgiana.
     At Lowood, Jane meets Helen Burns who is passive, soft-spoken, placid but mature and strong whereas Jane is intransigent, adamant, headstrong, stubborn and challenges authority. Helen accepts correction from her teachers as constructive criticism but Jane wants to defy the teacher and stand up for herself. Jane says, "When we are struck at without reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should - so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again" (Brontë 68). Helen chooses to be the bigger person but Jane wants to fight fire with fire and teach those who crossed her in the past to never cross her again. She learns from Helen to forgive instead of dwell on those who wronged her.
     Later when Jane is working for Mr. Rochester in Thornfield as a governess for his daughter Adèle. At a dinner party, she meets Blanche Ingram who seems to be the future wife of Mr. Rochester, her mother and her taunt Jane by bickering about how awful governesses are and how much Blanche hated hers. Although Jane has feelings for Rochester, she doesn't stoop to Blanche's level and behave rudely toward her; Jane instead accepts that her and Rochester don't have a chance together because of society's standards yet Blanche does because she's of a higher class. Jane is aware that Rochester is not interested in Blanche because she just recites what she has been told unlike Jane, who actually has her own opinions and a quick mind that makes Rochester so interested in Jane to tryto talk to her.    
     Jane receives word that Mrs. Reed is on her deathbed following a stroke and returned to Gateshead and gets a letter from John Eyre that he sent years before but Reed didn't forward to Jane out of bitterness and antipathy. Jane wants to clear the air and move on from the hostility as Reed is about to die and Jane really does believe that Mrs. Reed did all she could to raise Jane, yet Reed refuses to and dies later that night. Jane asked why she was never given the letter from John Eyre and Mrs. Reed told her, "I disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in lifting you to prosperity. I could not forget your conduct to me" (Brontë 268). Mrs. Reed was old but immature; Jane was young but wise. From the outside, Reed’s life might have looked better but she was still a miserable person. Similar to Blanche and her mother, Reed was raised "better" and considered to be in a higher class than Jane, regardless Jane is the bigger person.

Home

Home for me is the cottage I've gone to with my family that we've rented for nineteen years now. It's definitely where I've learned the most about myself and where I've always enjoyed going.

I met my best friends Kasey and Cam there; their mother's father is one of the three brothers who own the six cottages. We've been friends forever and their mother is a second mother to me, even though she's crazy at times. I've become a part of their family as they've become a part of mine. We go almost nine months without seeing each other yet when summer starts again, we pick up where we left off as if we've hung out every day in between Labor Day and Memorial Day. We listen to the same music, watch the same shows and have the majority of the same opinions. We've argued about everything stupid. I would be the one without a filter and she cried a lot. She got mad at me for having a crush on her cousin about six years ago; why this is not okay is beyond me (he was only twenty-one but we were meant to be)...but it wasn't. Kasey and I have always had the common goal of finding cute guys on the lake. This summer we learned how to wakeboard to impress some of them, because we're athletes, but actually the farthest thing from athletic, though committed to the cause. Regardless, mission accomplished. Cam and I hated each other for the first ten years of life, but that was due to cooties. He's usually my best friend when we both get tired of Kasey and when she doesn't appreciate my sarcastic sense of humor. There are few people I can stand to be on a boat with for the majority of the day, going around one lake over and over again. We make countless Disney Channel references (it's really sad being fifteen and seventeen years old and knowing ninety percent of Hannah Montana shows by heart, but we're actually incredibly proud).  I've never had a bad day at the lake. I get sick of Woburn in a solid two minutes but sitting on the boat or swimming for hours is the perfect day any day.
I'm always comfortable, laid back and free there. At school and even at home in Woburn I'm concerned with what people think of me but I don't get anxious about this at all at the lake. At the same time, I get to be vulnerable because I voice my opinions. There's no need for a filter or a mask because we can be honest. Because of the freedom we get, we become more independent and responsible for ourselves. There's not drama between us because none of us want to deal with it and one of us would have to apologize and we're too stubborn to do that.