The Senior Slide Takes Hold

    Sitting in my bedroom, wearing my oversized flannel with leggings and intense hiking socks (I don't even hike) I am faced with one of the most monumental decisions yet. Headphones in, iPad sitting in my lap on the lock screen, chamomile tea in my favorite mug, a Game of Thrones mug I sketchily bought on Amazon, my inner battle continues. A cool fall breeze is entering my room through my open window I'm too lazy to shut. As nothing is playing on the iPad I can hear my brother typing away on his laptop finishing a lab that's due tomorrow. I look to my right and see my assignment notebook open, "Common app; English outline; Spanish outline; Math bookwork; Science test Wednesday". I also catch a glimpse of my count of school days next to the date. We are on day 34, about two months in. I'm out in May, graduating in June and by this time next year I'll be in college. Finally. I'm out of Woburn, I will have made it. I look around my room, my laptop's too far away, common app is ruled out along with Spanish. My math book's nowhere to be seen and my Anatomy test is three days away, I'd hate to start studying too early.
     My attention returns to the lovely iPad in my lap: full of battery, full of promise and full of apps. Netflix included. This is my vice. In that third row, second column. Nearly any show I will ever need is one click away. Mad Men, Marco Polo, The Fall, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Sense 8. Any of them. All of them. The hours of homework I know I have are now suddenly inconsequential. Has the dreaded "senior slide" already taking me? Does such a cliche truly have its grasp on me? I used to love school yet here I am now navigating my way through Netflix. I know it better than the back of my own hand. As the intro plays, my assignment notebook is closed and returned to my backpack and my guilt has diminished.

How Education Shaped Jane

      Jane says, "My duty will be to develop these germs: surely I shall find some happiness in discharging that office" (Brontë 401). She began teaching at the school where not much was expected of the children but saw it as an opportunity to pass on education. They weren't going to be easy to teach, some weren't brought up to value education, but regardless she calls them her scholars and devotes her efforts to teaching them to value their schooling. Education shaped Jane's morals and decisions. Since Lowood she has loved and gained immense appreciation for education. Her schooling had opened many possibilities for her such as escaping the Reed's home when she was very young to go to Lowood, becoming a governess and later a schoolteacher while living with the Rivers family. The apple represents how education played such an important role in Jane's background. She gained self-respect as well through schooling, she was very independent and free like a bird for this reason. However, Jane's mind was like a hurricane when she made important decisions such as choosing to leave and then return to Rochester. Inside she's unpredictable and insane but rarely allows this to show in her countenance. Brontë alludes to fire and ice many times throughout the novel for emotions and Jane and Rochester's love as it symbolizes the passion versus acknowledging the voice of reason. Like the rose bush in front of the prison in The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne represented Hester Prynne's resilience, the rose represents Jane's resilience. She left the man she loved after learning he was already married, choosing what was best for herself, made a new life but ultimately ended up marrying Rochester. 

Letter to Jane

Dear Jane,

Leaving Mr. Rochester must have been one of the most difficult decisions you've made yet. For that, I am so proud of you for sticking to your principles. Even after he told you how hard his life has been married to Bertha, how much he loved you and how happy he has been with you, you left. He said everything that he possibly could have to make you change your mind and stay, but as you have been all your life, you're too stubborn to be dissuaded by anyone. You easily could have gone with him far from Thornfield and pretended you had no problems, but your relationship with Mr. Rochester had already been tainted. You never would have forgotten about her even if the misery she caused Mr. Rochester were to disappear completely. He was deceived by her entire family; he was young when they got married and he expected a happy marriage and life with his wife but soon learned that that would never happen. I know that he nearly tricked you into marriage as well but it was not the same reason. His intentions were never to hurt you, he adored you and didn't want to lose you so he thought keeping Bertha a secret would salvage your relationship. He had already been fooled into believing Adèle's mother loved him and that he and Bertha would love each other. I don't think he ever thought of it as duping you and I doubt he ever laughed at your callowness or stupidity. But I also don't think I would ever be able to leave him as you did if it were me in your position and I think you were right to do so. To know when to put yourself and your needs in front of those of who you love is one of the hardest things to do. In a show I watch, Game of Thrones, Cersei Lannister, a very strong woman who is also cunning and evil enough to kill off her husband, tells her daughter in law, "The more people you love, the weaker you are. You’ll do things for them that you know you shouldn’t do. You’ll act the fool to make them happy, to keep them safe. Love no one but your children." Cersei worships the ground her children walk on because she refuses to love anyone else so she is absolutely devoted to them. Love can make you forget your own importance sometimes, it makes you unimportant because suddenly you're willing to do absolutely anything for whoever you love. You didn't allow this, you didn't left love become a weakness and you held true to your principles. Although you had no one to admonish you, you had expectations for yourself; you respect yourself and no one can tell you that is wrong. I promise you, you committed no fault in leaving Mr. Rochester and you should pride yourself for your strength.

Sincerely,

Brandice

Maturity conquers malice in Jane Eyre

     Throughout Jane Eyre, the reader sees Jane mature from an rambunctious eight year old to a sophisticated eighteen year old. When Jane was young, living at Gateshead with her aunt, Mrs. Reed, and her cousins, she was seen as less than even a servant. She fought with John Reed when he brutally abused her and was punished by Mrs. Reed because she refused to believe her children could do anything wrong. Mrs. Reed's husband, Jane's uncle, promised to take care of Jane when her father died and when he passed away, Jane became his wife's responsibility. Jane was supposed to be treated as one of Mrs. Reed's own children though she was treated as a member of a lower class and always threatened with being sent to a poor-house if she continued to misbehave. Jane admits, "I dared commit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty and tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to night" (Brontë 22). However, Jane didn't hate Mrs. Reed for her childhood being miserable because she believed the Mrs. Reed didn't realize how much she despised Jane; she couldn't love Jane the same way she loved John, Eliza and Georgiana. Jane even took some responsibility for that because she knew she didn't love them either, so how could they love her? Jane tried her best to please them but never could and whenever there was a dispute between her and her cousins, she was blamed yet Georgiana could practically get away with murder because she was so beautiful and Jane was an outcast. Reed and the servants would be up in arms with anything Jane did wrong but continued to fawn over Georgiana.
     At Lowood, Jane meets Helen Burns who is passive, soft-spoken, placid but mature and strong whereas Jane is intransigent, adamant, headstrong, stubborn and challenges authority. Helen accepts correction from her teachers as constructive criticism but Jane wants to defy the teacher and stand up for herself. Jane says, "When we are struck at without reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should - so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again" (Brontë 68). Helen chooses to be the bigger person but Jane wants to fight fire with fire and teach those who crossed her in the past to never cross her again. She learns from Helen to forgive instead of dwell on those who wronged her.
     Later when Jane is working for Mr. Rochester in Thornfield as a governess for his daughter Adèle. At a dinner party, she meets Blanche Ingram who seems to be the future wife of Mr. Rochester, her mother and her taunt Jane by bickering about how awful governesses are and how much Blanche hated hers. Although Jane has feelings for Rochester, she doesn't stoop to Blanche's level and behave rudely toward her; Jane instead accepts that her and Rochester don't have a chance together because of society's standards yet Blanche does because she's of a higher class. Jane is aware that Rochester is not interested in Blanche because she just recites what she has been told unlike Jane, who actually has her own opinions and a quick mind that makes Rochester so interested in Jane to tryto talk to her.    
     Jane receives word that Mrs. Reed is on her deathbed following a stroke and returned to Gateshead and gets a letter from John Eyre that he sent years before but Reed didn't forward to Jane out of bitterness and antipathy. Jane wants to clear the air and move on from the hostility as Reed is about to die and Jane really does believe that Mrs. Reed did all she could to raise Jane, yet Reed refuses to and dies later that night. Jane asked why she was never given the letter from John Eyre and Mrs. Reed told her, "I disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in lifting you to prosperity. I could not forget your conduct to me" (Brontë 268). Mrs. Reed was old but immature; Jane was young but wise. From the outside, Reed’s life might have looked better but she was still a miserable person. Similar to Blanche and her mother, Reed was raised "better" and considered to be in a higher class than Jane, regardless Jane is the bigger person.